have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
