Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
