I am spending my child support on dildos
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
