I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He has the fingertips of a God
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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