We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
