It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
