I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
