Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
