Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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