ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
