I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize