so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
