At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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