mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
