I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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