I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
okay pat passed out under dana's car
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
