So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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