We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
