If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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