We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
