He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
