Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
