if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
