There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
