I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
