It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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