You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
two words...techno handjob
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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