We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize