i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize