I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
