Sry I called you an 8
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
