They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Say something about gay babies.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
