Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
