I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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