i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
