i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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