Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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