all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
