Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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