it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
