make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
