I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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