Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
