I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
