That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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