Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
