I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
