rhymes with "ouble enetration"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
