I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
