Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
