My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My life is pants optional.
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