I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You smell like stripper and shame
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
two words...techno handjob
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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