Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we're making bets on your personal life
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
