I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
