I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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