dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize