My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
