I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
