he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
